i haven't felt much like writing lately. or painting. i've been waiting until the last minute to do it. and then just slogging my way through it. that's just the way it is sometimes, and sometimes you can't fight it. call it procrastination, call it avoidance, call it adrenal exhaustion....call it what you will. a few weeks back into this one-a-day thing, now i remember why i was so excited to be done with it, once and for all.
i started a cleanse last weekend, thinking of all the things that needed spring cleaning, little ol' me might need it the very most. no sugar, no wheat, no dairy, no meat....no booze. that's an awful lot of no's. i thought that maybe it would up my motivation and energy, but so far i feel like it's only kicked up a bunch of dust and made me miss all of my favorite vices. they were, after all, something i looked forward to. every day.
there are plenty of things i do feel like doing, things that i am excited about...like spacing out, weeding the garden, picking the twining morning glory off of branches. i like to walk in the school field, watching the pups run, holding james hand and watching the clouds play on the hills in the distance.
and i always have time and energy to fill the bird feeders. i could sit and watch them birdies eat forever. yes, i love it so much it even distracts me, like a buzzing cell phone, distracts me from almost every other thing i'm doing.
and lately, i anxiously await the birth of baby birds around the premises as their mamas sit long and hard on those eggs. i love to listen to the new baby robins, two of them, gently testing out their voices, squawking above my bedroom door in the morning.
i love to watch the flowers bloom around me. i stare at the colors long and hard, trying to burn those blossoms into my retinas for when i want to paint a picture full of life, long after the flowers have all fallen. spring has hit the valley fast and hard this year, like a freight train, and i'm standing at the edge of the track marveling at it's force and velocity.
needless to say, i get distracted from my work. but all of these other things take precedence sometimes. sometimes, work must wait. for more important things.