one for today
one for yesterday

i love the night life.  i really do.  the lights, the loud music, the energy.... i would consider myself nocturnal. or at least i used to be. i couldn't get enough of the city streets at night, veins coursing with light.  but nowadays, i live where the sidewalk ends.  i don't stay up much past eleven.  have i outgrown that night life a little?  or has it outgrown me?  i don't know, but either way, we don't see each other all that often.  maybe it's because i live in a distant land, at least a half hour drive in any direction to twenty-something bars full of uninhibited drunk dancers. it makes "going out" a bit more of a laborious endeavor. and so it keeps me home, reading books and nerding out to art docs.

every now and again, just so i don't feel all stuffy old and boring, i have to get my feet wet in the wild and crazy scene to feel balanced.  like last night, for instance.  pink sparkling wine with the ladies, that followed by pabst and a lemon (just to keep it classy), definitely one too many, lots of girl talk and greasy bar fodder, wearing the absolute wrong shoes for dancing, the wrong shoes for walking miles and miles across town, but doing it anyways...it was exhilarating,  just like the old days, my twenties....until the buzz wore off and i had to get my ass home.  at that point, there's just something weird about staying up so late that you watch the sky start to lighten, hear the birds, one and then two of them, wake up before you've even had a chance to shut your eyes.  

so i made it home, got a few hours of sleep.  and then today, well that was mostly a fog.  i felt real out-of-sorts, in a comfortable, dazed way.  but wholly unproductive.  and that's probably why i'm not the party girl i used to be:  for a self-made lady with a lot of responsibilities, it sucks to lose a day.  there's always too much shit to do to cut loose completely.

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