eight days without alcohol.  it may seem like nothing to you, but to me, it's a lot.  it's a lot of work, and tenacity.  it's a lot of willpower.  because drinking is easy.  hell, when you're bored and restless and the sun goes down and you live in the middle of nowhere except for the two bars on either end of town, drinking is easy.  but not drinking, well, let's be honest here:  i guess i'm out of practice.  for all those times when life gets too stressful and i'm used to unwinding with a glass of wine or a hot toddy, now i can't.  what do i do, then, to unwind?  what tools do i have?  these are questions i'm beginning to ask myself.  thirty days without alcohol. well it doesn't seem like a long time, when you say it aloud.  but i'm a daily drinker.  i don't get tanked every day, so it may not seem like a problem.  but a habit is a habit: hard to break.  alcohol doesn't really solve any problems.  it just dumbs down the senses.  so james and i, we're hopping on the wagon for thirty days.  i think it's safe to say, thirty days seems like an eternity.  and it's just the beginning.

eight days in, and already things are changing.  i feel weird, like my body is recalibrating.  a cleanse, of sorts.  there's also some deep itchiness that i can't scratch.  like maybe i'm having withdrawals.  there is a certain moodiness.  but the clouds are starting to lift, too.  i can think clearly.  i can get a lot done.  i feel happy, and optimistic, and patient.  i am more productive.  i look healthier.  and it's just the beginning.

1 comment:

  1. Good on you girl. Giving up booze for the 10 months of my pregnancy was hard for me. But it's good. I realized that as a daily drinker I was so used to using wine to wind down at the end of the day, that I lost the ability to decompress without it. So I had to learn some things about myself and how I manage stress. Good for you for doing the same without the threat of a wonky-eyed fetus hanging over your head!