keep it together

 

some days, i just can't wake up.  i'm sleepwalking.  i drink as much black tea as the kettle can brew, but still, i go through the day at half-mast.  i have no oomph, no spring in my step, no motivation.  why? i don't know.  i feel tired, like i could sleep a lifetime. i feel sad, for no reason, or for every reason under the sun. i might just cry, yes, i probably will, cry about one of the many tragedies in my life, those thoughts and memories i file away in my head, file away in that giant file cabinet that i try to keep closed for a million good reasons.  days like these, i'm probably just dehydrated, i'll say.  i drag my feet to the kitchen. drink a few glasses of water, lay down on the bench in the backyard.  i'll watch the birds, let the sun hit my face, close my eyes.  i feel that i must slow down, slow down, slow to a near stop.  and then james, he comes to the rescue.  he takes me for a drive, through the sandstone forest that borders the ocean. and that blue blue ocean, it goes on forever. it is only then, when i take the time to breathe, breathe in the beauty around me, do i start to feel better.