4.20.2012

nuance

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today in conversation, i was explaining why i started the one-a-day up again.  i compared it to exercise.  i found that when i worked out my "artist muscles" regularly by painting every day, it was easy.  i had a flow, and found that i worked faster and better than ever.  ideas kept coming, like the siphoning of a hose. but as soon as i stopped, i stopped. i took a long break, a six month break.  i hardly picked up a paintbrush, nor did i have any desire to.  trying to start again was nearly impossible, excruciating, painful, like the first day of athletic training after a long summer off.  i looked at other people's art longingly.  i was out of shape.  i had disappeared.  where had i gone?

needless to say, it feels good to be back in the saddle again.  the work is different, new.  it references all sorts of disparate influences throughout my life.  i feel more freedom to change from day to day.  i'm not so terrified by a blank canvas.  i don't need to paint it exactly how my eyes see it.  and more than ever, i see my mom coming through, clear as a bell, in the nuances i've developed, the tricks i learned as a little girl watching over her shoulder, as she carved in ivory or washed in watercolor.  no mom, i haven't forgotten.   i'm just beginning to realize, to see her influences carved into me, in the same way the ocean carves the sandstone rock walls: slowly, yet determinedly, dramatically, over time.

4 comments:

  1. A good reminder... thanks for the inspiration. You are creating wonderful artworks, as well.

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  2. Ooh her hair becoming waves is wonderful! I'm happy you're doing these again.

    Drawing is like exercising, good to do everyday. I wish I exercised like i draw. Maaan i'd be so fit! My daily drawings are not usually for myself, so I don't hold them in very high regards. Maybe I should rethink.

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    Replies
    1. hmm that comment was from Jessica Lynch btw, it marked me as unknown :(

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    2. gosh, i would be thrilled to see your daily drawings, your work always inspires me, to loosen up my hand especially.

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