|funny how toy guns look real when you paint their portrait. this one was found july 5th 2010 on the columbia river beach while picking up copious quantities of garbage and fireworks shells left after independence day.|
today is spacy, aimless. blame it on the rain. days like today, i struggle to let it go, to find the resignation that says you don't have to conquer the world all at once. eventually it comes, and i feel satisfied blankly wandering between projects, pushing them each sluggishly forward, only centimeters at a time, put this thing in that box and that thing on this shelf, never enough tea to wake fully, working on a painting, waiting for paint to dry, taking long breaks to watch the ducks experience their first rainfall and notice the birds, lots of them, competing for feeder space over my cold cup of tea. yes, an aimless daze, that's just what happens sometimes when you're self employed, nobody telling you where to be or what to do, not even yourself. those days, you wish you'd written a list, but you know that if you wrote the list, it would be too long, insurmountable really, and you'd lose it anyways. sometimes, self-employment is self-empowered bliss, and sometimes, it's like being lost in a foreign city: confusion, lack of direction, all roadsigns undecipherable.
it's okay though. i've always got my one-a-day to keep me in check.