9.05.2010

direction

8" x 10"

one day recently i had an epiphany that released me.  i realized that  i don't have to be good at everything.  you see, i consider myself a bit of a renaissance man. and an overachiever.  both qualities have gotten me this far.  i can sew, paint, and take pretty photographs. i can cook delicious healthy food while dancing and singing harmonies, and i can do a handstand.  i am handy around the house and can wield a hammer or screwgun with confidence.  i'm a computer savvy modern girl, yet i can chop wood as easily as a stick of butter and start a fire in a minute flat.  but i'm used to running myself ragged trying to be everything to everyone and do everything all at once.  my own expectations for myself were too high and as a result i suffered from a lot of anxiety--hence the nickname: "stressy jessie", given by my folks. in the back of my mind i knew: there was always one ball in the juggler's lot about to drop.... either my garden went unwatered or got eaten by aphids, the laundry sat in piles unattended, the fire in the stove went out, or those old projects sat in pieces on the shelf.  not to mention, my evil jealous twin crept in when i saw someone else doing something better than me--heaven forbid anyone should ever be better than me at anything!!  so, after a serious one-on-one with that dirty alter-ego, i laid down the law and decided to start this blog.  i've truly been humbled by the amount of work and commitment it takes to do a painting a day.  but it has helped me find direction and focus my attention on the things i absolutely know i was put here on this planet for.  feeling significantly less mental choas, and for this i am thankful.

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