my job

sold

i'm excited.  i just finished an illustration & design job for the west african fisheries department of the world bank.  it will be my fourth published work as a professional illustrator.  i've been on this job for about a year.  it's been a great in a reliable sort of way, my slow and steady jobby-job.  it's paid my mortgage, bought my groceries, paid my bills and even a bought me a new tattoo.  i've learned a lot, i've been slapped around, and i've been humbled.  but this job, it's kept my from my first love: painting. it's played cock-block between me and my second love, exhibiting.   i'm ready to move on, and do my own thing.  me and this job, i guess we're parting ways.  working for money is good, and oh-so-necessary.  but doing pen & ink illustrations and layout on the computer is tedious like any old office job.  i'm ready to get back to the freedom of oil on canvas, and see what happens.  i dream of doing something new and edgy, that no one has ever seen before.  i dream of doing something that will make waves, that will shock people with progressive concepts and mastery of technique.  what that something is, i don't know.  i have yet to find out.  when i was describing this idea to my good friend heather, she spoke wise words: "you will probably have to fail a few times before you get it right."  am i prepared?  i think so.  am i overthinking it?  probably.  in conclusion, the words of frank scully:   

"why not go out on a limb?  isn't that where the fruit is?"