in life, there are always those moments.: you flubb, you mess up, you totally biff it, and you wish you could start all over, have one more shot.  the idea conjures those tense moments as a youngster in the spelling bee.  up on stage with the polished floor and heavy hanging red velvet curtains, sitting in the squeaky plastic brown chair, you hear your name called, you walk up awkwardly to face the mic and what feels like millions of people staring expectantly.  "minute" the caller says.  "minit.   m-i-n-i-t.  minit."  says i.  oops.  now i know that modern slang vernacular isn't always appropriate at the elementary school spelling bee, and the fact that i lived a mile away from a MINIT MART, yes, read the sign: MINIT, didn't sway their vote.  sorry, they said, m-i-n-u-t-e.  that was the first time i messed up at the spelling bee, and it wasn't the last.  but i kept trying, got all the way to the local semifinals, won my very own telephone with programmable numbers, made it to state championships, and got a souvenir t-shirt with a little iconic spelling bee!   i suppose perseverance pays off in the end.  and really, the lesson is, you're gonna screw up.  lots.  but as long as you keep a good attitude and keep trying, you'll get somewhere.  and the more you mess up, the more you forgive yourself, the less it hurts, and you're not as apt to do it again.....right?

that's why in the discipline of art, so many artists choose to do the same subjects...over and over and over again.  you learn a lot by beating your head against the same wall.  monet's cathedrals, his haystacks, his waterlilies, just a few obvious examples.  the light changes, the color changes, the mood changes, and the paintings changes.  so today, for me, another harmonica.  a study in time, and how my perspective, my technique, my eye and my hand has changed.  i've changed, but i'm still the same.

1 comment:

  1. I *really* like your work Jessica, just found it through Facebook. Hoping to make it to your show at Jinx!!